Thursday, May 9, 2013

Facebook Withdrawl

A week ago I surprised myself by posting the following on Facebook: 

I awoke this morning and realized that my life is awesome! We are all healthy and alive. My kids are amazing little people who enrich our lives daily, love us like crazy and are growing way too fast! My husband, Nathan, and I have built so many wonderful things together and have so much still to look forward to. So why, I asked myself, have I been feeling so lousy about it all? The answer hit me like a ton of bricks... I spend too much time on Facebook, focusing on what other people are doing, stressing about issues which are not really my own and wishing for more "real" connections. What I love about Facebook is the chance to see family photos, chuckle at my friends' witty quotes and connect with people I enjoy around the globe. But, at the risk of sounding like a kvetch, lately I have really been feeling that I need something more substantial. 

So... after a lot of hesitation (and a bad case of "the shakes!"), I started a shift toward better balance by deleting the Facebook app from my iPhone today. It had become like a nervous twitch for me. (i.e. "Did that person respond yet?" "I wonder if anyone has posted something new in the 2 minutes since I last checked...") Now that the school year is ending for my kids I don't want that constant distraction. I will check in from time to time still, and post updates (like when I have a new episode on New Mexicast or a new blog post on but I'm going to cut back on the virtual connecting and seek out more face-to-face connections this summer.

To that end, we are planning a cross-country trek in the new camper this summer, and several 4 day weekends throughout the southwest. We may even make our way into Canada (and certainly Mexico). So, if you have any desire for a visit from 3 cute kids, 2 large dogs and 1 or 2 relatively interesting adults, let us know and we'll see if we can make it to your neck of the woods. Or if you want to join us for some camper camping, there is plenty of room. And, of course the offer still stands for anyone who wants to meet us at our condo in Mexico (or our home in New Mexico) for one of the most relaxing, inexpensive vacations you could ask for.

If you need us or want to connect with us IRL (in real life) please text, call or email us. Otherwise, have a fantastic summer full of face-to-face connections, giggles and hugs!

Lots of love to you all!

P.S. If you find yourself missing my oh-so-witty social media posts I will post about our summer travels on my blog "Landlocked Boat Babies" on I will also still be posting on Twitter ( and on New Mexicast's Facebook page (New Mexicast - Enchanting podcasts from Rosa Linda Roman) on a semi-regular basis. XOXOXOXO

I may not have been planning to write that exact post that day, or to step away from Facebook right then and there, but the fact is that I have been thinking about this for awhile now. I have been putting energy into maintaining connections on that social media site for quite some time, and it has mostly been wonderful. But I just feel like the kids are growing too quickly for me to spend any of our precious time together feeling stressed about other people's drama (and losing sleep over said drama). I tend to put too much weight into other people's opinions of me. (Actually, if I'm being completely honest with myself here; it's really just my perception of other people's opinions of me.) Perhaps it is the second-born syndrome that makes me want to keep everyone happy and not offend anyone (although my also second-born husband seems to be blissfully unencumbered by this syndrome). Or maybe it is just a remnant of my ratings-centric, mainstream reporting career that makes me chase feedback and approval outside of myself. 

Whatever the reason, the past week of shifting focus from online connections to face-to-face contact has been eye-opening for me. There have been bike rides with friends, kayaking classes with Ziva and Nathan, a PTO meeting, a Mother's Day tea, date night and a field trip to the New Mexico Museum of Natural History, just to name a few. I have been happier about my life, less stressed about other people's problems, more connected to others and feeling like more a part of a community already. 

So far I feel like I'm heading in the right direction. By downshifting a bit from Facebook for the summer I am hoping to gain more of what I truly want... the chance to live in the present moment with the people I love present.

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